20 november 2024
✒ november in the pacific northwest - i'm not used to it yet. as the trees shed their leaves, moss begins to bloom and ivy trickles down every tall surface with the rain. swathes of green in all shades challenged the notion i had of death in wintertime. the endurance of life & the emergence of new forms reminds me that despite my finite time here, it's not too late to begin again.
✒ to love someone is to attend a thousand funerals of who they once were, and watch a thousand births of who they are to become. every single person has their own persepctive of me - frozen in the time we spoke last. terrifying that there are people walking around who only knew the middle school version of me. well - i shouldn't knock her too much. some people have chosen to see the good in me then, and continue to be my friend now. actually, i've grown quite a bit closer with one of my friends, we went from like level 2 to level 5 frienship.
✒ what makes the same trait annoying in one person and endearing in another? time?
✒ i'm starting to tire of all my music - i can't wait to find that one track that's gonna be on repeat for the next few weeks, maybe i'll see if i can make it a cute link in my next entry! i tend to go between phases of listening to albums v playlists. now? i'd prefer a good album! ideally something lyrical
✒ all this to say nothing at all. i log in everytime hoping for a nugget of sage advice to self, a cheeky one liner, something! i think truly it's scary to process emotions all the way through. most of us distrupt that with a spike of dopamine, a distraction, disconnection. ALSO it's so hard to log in and code all this. ought to just start keeping my digital notes app more up to date. i'd like to start a seperate tab on the homepage for my dreams, and also combine the recall of the dream with just, you know, lil snippets of dream meanings from the internet. i really would like to lean into the visual aspect of building a website. but also i just want something to put down - so i guess this is it!
✒ can i essentially make myself a little twitter style entry format type thing? where i can just log on & upload something under 150 characters, maybe a phot-NO the WHOLE POINT of building a website is to learn to appreicate the effort that goes into maintaining one
✒ whatver 4 ever!!!!!